People,

I am still going to the gym every day despite every fiber in my being telling me not to. I mean, I hate it there. Honestly, I can't figure out why all this research money is going towards fighting cancer and AIDS when a system for getting ripped abs by watching TV and eating candy has yet to be invented. Come on, science!

I do have to hand it to the people who set the gym up however. There is a lot of motivational material to be had. For instance, there is a wall of TVs in front of the cardio machines where you can get your fill of Alias re-runs or an old Friends episode -OR- the Fox News Channel, the single greatest workout motivator ever invented.

The Fox News Channel is amazing. It stirs up so much angry energy in me that I frequently find myself staying on the elliptical machine longer than I planned.

And so, if you ever see me and I'm in good shape, thank the conservative and bigoted right wing agenda of Rupert Murdoch.

We truly live in a great country.