Tomorrow is the night, or as Snoop might say, the nizzight. We are going to bring in that new year with a bang for shizzle, if you know what I'm saying.
Last night Pete and I watched an entire episode of "Betty La Fea" (Betty the Ugly) on Telemundo even though neither of us speaks a lick of Spanish. It was, how do you say... awesome. I think the plot had something to do with Betty uncovering corruption at a business where this Rico Suave type guy was trying to give her the runaround. It was either about that or it had something to do with pizza. God, I need to learn Spanish...
New Year's Eve is only 11 days away....Are you ready?
People, I am back in the saddle again after a solid week of practice practice practice. We've been told that this is the only way to make perfect so we're going to see how it turns out.
Pete and I have also beern having an ongoing debate about the nature of getting drunk on an airplane. The question before us is: If you get drunk on a plane at a high altitude where the air is thinner, will you get less drunk when you descend to earth? Now, we've accounted for cabin pressurization, people, and airline websites have assured us that cabins are only pressurized to the equivalent of 8,000 feet, not sea level, so it's a valid question. We feel that this is of great national importance, and hard drinking Pete has already contacted Smirnoff Ice about a possible sponsorship to do the research himself. He's a scamp.
Other than that, we here at FXA headquarters are hot on the trail of our only two worldy demands - rockitude and justice, in that order. I don't know how justice is doing right now (Jordan's dept.) but I can assure you that rockitude is going quite well. New Year's Eve at Toad is going to be Fooled By April like you've never seen Fooled By April. Like the cajun chef, I guar-an-tee it.
If there was one word to describe the scene of last night's Fooled By April show that word would have to be ROCK. That's right folks, ROCK in all capital letters is the only word to do it justice.
I mean, even though the cold rain fell on our shoulders as we loaded in and out, even though the band after us made fun of our name more than a couple times, even though some guy got belligerent in my face about Osama Bin Laden always calling his cell phone....goddammit, even though I accidentally peed on my own foot in the bathroom I ended up having a ROCK time.
And you know why, people? Because of you, the true rock and roll believers. Quite honestly, you're the only reason this thing works out at all. Yeah, I'm talking to you Braum (even if I have no idea how to spell your name). I'm talking to you Brendo. I'm talking to you, drunk guy who tried to steal the setlist during the show (OK, maybe I'm not actually talking to that guy, but you know what I'm getting at).
So, thank you, rock fans, for last night showing us the true meaning of Rockmas And Rockukkah.
I hope you like the holidays, because we here in Fooled By April certainly do. Yesterday we spent the entire day trimming the tree, brewing homemade apple cider and working out four part harmonies on our favorite carols. Ok, maybe some of that isn't true. We did however, start planning out our holiday concerts by dusting off some old XMas tunes, some kooky covers and our usual repertoire of pop gems.
In other news, I was thinking about these protests that took place when I was kid. Some church crazies were very upset that stores were advertising X-mas sales, instead of Christmas sales. They carried around signs like "don't take the Christ out of Christmas" and "Jesus is the reason for the season!" Anyway, the reason I was thinking about this was that I was watching the making of Christina Aguilera's new album "Stripped" on MTV. My favorite part was when they showed an exterior shot of her dressing room, which had a gold star on the door and the name "X-ina." Somehow I think there won't be much of a protest about that. In fact, I think maybe Jesus himself asked her to take him out of her name. Dirrrty is right. Yikes.
Well, it is mad snowy out right now, I mean physically angry snowy out. We here in the FXA camp are all hunkered around a small fire, desperately trying to keep warm while roasting hot dogs and singing cowboy songs. It's a lonely life out here on the prairie, but we're thinking of you.....
Really really fun time last night. We want to extend a big thanks to everyone who stuck around into the wee hours of the morning to have their sweet asses rocked by the Fooled By April Party Machine (Ed note - NOT the new name of the group).
So, before the show last night I was miserable. I had a fever and was incredibly achy. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was play a big rock show. And so I had to have a coversation with the old body, I said:
Me: Body, I know I ask a lot, but just pull through for me tonight and tomorrow we'll take a sick day. Huh, pal? That sounds good right?
Body: Dude, I don't know. I feel like ass. let's go home and go to sleep...
Me: Come on! Buck up, little pony, and tomorrow you can sleep all day and watch cable. Will you do that for me?
Body: Well....OK, but I get to have ice cream tomorrow too.
Me: Fair enough.
So body came through for me and I was able to play through the fever. Unfortunately, I lied to body and even though I indeed felt like ass this morning I came to work. So currently body is not speaking to me and I think he's planning on giving me diarrhea or something as payback. Oh well.....
I trust everyone had an ass kicking, belly stuffing, moonshine drinking good time over Thanksgiving. And this is a good thing because we need you all to be of sound body and stout of heart for tonight's big rock show at the Middle East. We'll be bringing the old rock jams, a new rock jam and even a couple surprises. A good time will be had by all.
In other news, there is no other news. We all ate too much and were pampered by our moms over the holiday and now are back to the drudgery of our mind-numbing non rock day jobs.
But hey, if anyone wants to go sledding, shoot me an email...
