(Note: My apologies to anyone who actual was waiting for this. The computers in my office have been down for almost two days and I work at MIT. Go figure)

Mötley Crüe – Part Deux

We arrived in Maine with no problems, save for the fact that we hit Burger king along the way and 12-Gauge indulged in his deadliest habit – onion rings. His stomach somehow turns them from an innocuous fried treat into a form of chemical warfare in about 15 minutes. Damn.

Anyway, we got to Portland and joined the trashiest white trash fest I have ever been a part of. It was like we were at the Jerry Springer sideshow. While we stood in line to enter the arena there were three fistfights, resulting in one broken nose, a lot of blood and a number of arrests. Classy. I have also never heard the word “fucking” used as an adverb so many times in my life.

Finally we got inside and made it to our seats, which a couple methed out guys were already sitting in. Being huge pussies, we decided to get security involved rather than ask the dudes to move ourselves. This was a good call because when the guard asked to see their tickets one of the dudes launched into a textbook “Cops” soliloquy.

“I have tickets. I’m not a criminal. Do I look like a criminal to you? I have tickets.” (shows tickets) “I’m not a criminal.”

It was weird. It also turned out that the tickets he did have (he was not, in fact, a criminal) were way better than our seats, the seats he had decided for some reason to squat in.

And then, before we knew it, it was showtime…..