People,

So, Gordon is back from his HONEYMOON. It's kind of hard to believe that someone who I've driven across the country multiple times with pursuing this most childish of childish pursuits is now fully yoked with the mantle of adulthood. Oh well, one down, three to go.

I'm next and it's a pretty weird feeling. I'm rapidly approaching midlife and am signing on for all kinds of adult responsibility, but I still feel like I'm 8 years old when I wake up in the morning. Sometimes I'm happy because it's sunny and I can ride my bike. Sometimes I'm grumpy because I didn't get enough sleep. I don't like baths. I love wiffleball and I hate having to be accountable to anyone.

To me, my adulthood so far has been exactly like childhood except for sex and as much TV as I want (which is a lot). I am, in many ways, the definition of a man-child.

To my future wife and children, all I can say is good luck and pass me the Hot Tamales.