Folks,

This is less of a journal entry than an open letter to our newest neighborhood vandalizer, LP.

LP, I have some things to say to you. Of course, I know you probably live on my street, will end reading this and then you and a band of teenage thugs will beat me mercilessly for it with a bag of your backwards baseball caps, but here goes.

I understand your need to make a name for yourself. But by painting your moniker on everything - a laundromat, a bakery, a 7-11, numerous sidewalks, a memorial site (not kidding) etc. the way you have been, you're only accomplishing two things.

1) We (the collective non-pimpled) residents of Somerville and our municipal workers, think you're a dick.

2) Your symbol there, you know, the LP with the L being some kind of attempt at calligraphy which looks more like a capital cursive Q than anything else? Dude, that is soooo gay. And this makes me very happy, not because I have anything against being gay, but because your failure at this most heterosexual chest thumping act is funny.

So, in closing, figure out something cooler to spray paint on our city's establishments, or call it a day, come out of the closet, grab a sixer of Smirnoff Ice and come on over for a barbecue. Your choice, my friend.

Love,

Joe