People,

So, as all of you loyal readers know, Fooled By April practices in my basement. For those of you who didn't know that, well, now you can start to understand just how glamorous this business is.

Anyway, last night FXA took it upon themselves to clean the basement practice space for the first time in the three years we've been there. Dag. Of course, before we took up residence, the basement hadn't been cleaned for at least another three or four years. Dag. Here's what we found:

- Lots of old clothes buried in mildewy piles under all kinds of cords and electronics. I think each band member had a moment where they were momentarily excited by finding something they'd lost, only to smell it and then throw it out again.

- An unimaginable amount of useless crap, including two TV's, a VCR, a four-track and two computers - all broken. Pete and I took it upon ourselves to pitch the four track and the VCR off the roof onto our concrete patio to see how they would smash. That was, how do you say, awesome.

- Lots of stickers and other promotional stuff that we bought, then it got buried, then we forgot about it, then we bought more.

- More spiders than you could shake a spider divining rod at.

- A crappy old guitar of Pete's. After determining its worthlessness, Pete and I took it back to the aforementioned patio and took turns hoisting it above our heads, screaming "Thank you! Good night!" and then smashing it. It took a good five tries to completely break and proved that it's really not as easy as Mr. Townshend makes it look.

- An huge trove of some former roommate's porn. There was a ton. I mean, a LOT, and I'm not surprised too easily.

- Some fireworks and lots of old bottles of liquor. To me, this is a combination made in heaven. We took an old bottle of Cuervo and some Jumping Jacks out to the aforementioned back patio. Then I individually lit the jumping jacks and dropped them in the tequila. When I timed it just right the fireworks would go in the tequila. And sometimes the bubbles and foam rising from the tequila would light on fire! Man, we're lame.

- More than a couple mouse skeletons-----nasty.

- Enough mold to still make me feel sick today. Damn.