People,

Today marked one of the final days that I will be pushing Ladybetrothed Sarah to and from work in her wheelchair. I think we're both relieved that her foot is finally starting to shape up and that soon she'll have her independence back.

What have I learned from this experience? Well, I don't want to offend anyone, but I've been doing a lot of thinking recently and have come to the conclusion that being handicapped sucks. I mean, even putting aside the fact that you have an impairment that limits your scope of activity, being handicapped is a constant slap in the face from society. People are dicks to other people in wheelchairs.

Let me explain. Throughout our travels, LS and have decided that there are essentially three reactions people have to the chair. 1) Pity 2) Pity masked with extreme "I'm going to treat you like a four year old" kindness and 3) Complete indifference.

Of the three I think I find #2 most galling, maybe because it is the one I've always been guilty of myself. When they see us, the #2's faces immediately snap into this huge beaming grin, as if they've just been waiting for us the whole day and are ecstatic we made it. But it just comes off as "I'm very uncomfortable around you but that isn't politically correct so I'll pretend I love the handicapped. You want a high five?" Very annoying.

#1 isn't far behind. Most of the people in this category focus their attention on me. They look at LS for a second and then try to make eye contact with me, all the while making puppy eyes with a "buck up, little tiger, it'll be OK" look on their faces. It's these looks that finally made me understand why many handicapped people are hung up on the fact that they don't want pity. Pity not only is condescending, but also makes you feel like more of an outsider than you already do.

#3 is the least annoying group, but still aggravating. These are the people who don't care that you're in the chair (good) but also don't care that you're a human being (bad). These are the people who take the subway elevators just because they're lazy, that feel no compunction cutting you off to get on the train, that won't stop for you in a crosswalk etc. Like I said, pity is unpleasant, but a little extra courtesy than that afforded to the common yahoo would be nice.

Add to that that the amenities that make places "handicapped accessible" are often ridiculous. The subway elevators for the T are a joke, a dirty joke at that. They reek of urine and vomit, take forever to come, are very tiny and are located in inconvenient places. Also, the handicapped ramps at many public buildings are so steep as to be simply unrealistic for people without electric wheelchairs. And the sidewalks in Boston, well, don't even get me started.

Anyway, this period in my and LS's life has been very instructive for me. I think I've learned a lot about what it means to be a second class citizen in this country, and it sucks. And so I apologize for the years in my life where I've done my part to ignore people in difficult circumstances.

Dag.