People,

Two stupid things on the old brain this morning:

- Doesn't anyone ever really retire anymore? I ask because Roger Clemens just signed with the Astros for at least one more year. Now, he had to have known, somewhere in his mind, that he possibly would play one more year. That makes me think he is one giant a-hole for letting the people of New York make a big deal of his retirement all last season. But beyond that, no one ever retires anymore. Sports stars come back (sometimes more than once), bands come back, actors come back etc. Don't get me wrong, I think you should stay in the game as long as you want, but don't grab a bunch of attention by "retiring" if you're going to come back, jerk. Dag.

- I read an article in a magazine that asked the question "How will we diet now that ephedra is illegal?" These are the times I wish I was a doctor:

Patient: How will I diet now that ephedra is illegal?
Me: Hmmm. How about eating less and exercising?
Patient: Nah, that's not it. Maybe I can do the Zonekins macrobiotic and drink 72 glasses of water a day.
Me: Hmmm. How about eating less and exercising?
Patient: Nah. Maybe I can get fen-fen from Thailand.
Me: Hmmm. How about eating less and exercising?
Patient: Good point! All crystal meth diet it is then.
Me: Ok. See you in six months.