People,

This morning was notably for one very special reason - I happened upon the single worst version of "Jingle Bells" I have ever heard in my life.

Now that may not seem like much, but think about it. You and I have heard Jingle Bells maybe ten billion times in our lives. We've heard it done instrumentally by guitar geeks, by horrible children's choirs and from drunk old bums in the street - but none of these versions could touch what I saw this morning.

It happened in the Porter Square T station. This guy (who, in his defense, looked more than a little dazed (and by dazed I mean stone cold drunk)) was beating mercilessly on an out of tune kettle drum accompanied by a drum machine.

This probably still sounds like it wouldn't produce the worst version of Jingle Bells ever. You're prolly saying to yourself "I admit that a drunk guy wailing on an out of tune kettle drum might produce a bad version of Jingle Bells, but the worst ever?" Just wait.

So, the drum machine is set to an eighties style hip hop beat, a hip hop beat that the drummer is paying absolutely no heed to. I mean, none. Zero. He's playing to some rhythm for sure, but it sure isn't audible to the rest of us.

And now the kicker. The only notes of the song that are in key with each other are "jingle-all-the-way." This sucks because each time he gets to that part you think he's going to pull it out and get back on track. No such luck, he always follows it up with an "oh what fun it is to ride" section that is literally random notes.

Still not the worst version ever? Halfway through I don't know....his eighteenth chorus?... he stopped and burped. I kid you not.

Worst Jingle Bells ever.

PS. Thanks to the Nelson girls, Shannon and Jessie for making it out to the Blackstone last night. You, in a word, rock.