People,

Arg. I am getting tired of the completely fury inducing ordeal that has become my morning commute. I have smelled more bad breath, farts and BO on the overcrowded trains this week than I have in two years of touring with the band - and believe you me, that's saying something.

Anyway, as I was riding the armpit in my face express this morning, trying to kill the time with the Metro, a story just popped out at me. It seems that "Buster", a cocker spaniel drug sniffing dog, is going to be given a medal for his exceptional service.

A medal. For a dog. How stupid is that? He's a dog, folks. He has absolutely no use for a ceremony or a medal. I mean if you want to reward someone for infringing on personal freedoms, at least honor the guy who trained the dog.

Later in the article it said that the medal Buster is getting is the dog equivalent to the Victoria Cross. Two things: 1) how dumb do you feel now if you have the Victoria Cross, knowing that there's a dog equivalent? 2) this implies that there are lots of doggie medals. Now, I might not be the most worldly fella, but did I somehow fail to realize that we live in a society where there needs to be a canine version of every honor and award?

Finally, there was a text of last years acceptance speech by Spot:

"woof, woof woof, bark. (ass sniff) Owwwwwwwwwwwwlliiiii arf barkk woof woof growl. (short break for peeing on the podium) Arf bark bark woof.

Thank you all again. I'll be here all week. Try the veal."