People,

What can I tell you? Because of the present impending winter and holiday season, I have had to take stock of my fat ass lazy self and people, it ain't pretty.

So today I've decided to make the trek back to the gym after a pretty long absence. I could give a lot of reasons why I haven't gone in a while, but they would just hide the truth - I hate the gym, I hate pointless exercise and I really really really hate gym people.

I could go on forever about the various types of gym people I hate, but since time and space are limited I'll just focus on my least favorite - Overcompensating for their homophobia naked conversation guys. These are the guys who stand around in the locker room completely naked and talk about "guy" stuff in loud voices while their man bits are hanging out all over the place.

Now, I'll tell you what bugs me about these guys. It's not the nudity, it's not their wrinkled old penises, it's not even the "guy" talk. It's the simple fact that they're so eager to prove how cool they are about being naked and how not gay they are that they make this huge production out of it. It doesn't even make sense. I mean, if I were stranded on a desert island with a male friend and we had no clothes, then out of necessity we'd have to talk to each other while naked. But these guys have protracted conversations while naked when their clothes are like three inches away.

Doug: Pete, did you see the game? That was awesome when the linebacker's head split open.

Pete: Yeah, it was great. Hold on, let me just get my pants on.

Doug: whoah...hey there...this here is naked talk. Put those pants away.

Pete: Oh, sorry.

All in all, I just wish they would all just cut the subterfuge and make out already. Arg.