People,

Happy Halloween. No one emailed me a good costume idea and so I've decided to go as myself, only handsomer. It's gonna be tough.

In other Halloween news, last night Ladyfriend Sarah and Supermaura had a pumpkin carving contest at their place. When I heard about it I bolted over there because, as anyone who knows me knows, I'm a sucker for pumpkins.

Anyway, when I arrived the pumpkin gutting had begun in earnest and the house was full of that weird pumpkin innard stink. The smell is kind of like puke mixed with carrot cake. So I decided to exit the carving area and watch TV until the pumpkins were done.

Finally, after about an hour (and two episodes of Real World/Road Rules Challenge) it was time to judge the girls handiwork:

-Ladyfriend Sarah's pumpkin was.....interesting. She made an error cutting the left eye and decided at that point that all hope of making a regular jack-o-lantern was dashed, and that the logical thing would be to make "Elephant Man Retardo Pumpkin", which is what she did. He had one HUGE eye, one tiny eye and, believe me, the weirdest grin you will even see on any fruit.

-Supermaura made "Carrie-o-lantern", which essentially is a regular jack-o-lantern design augmented with a prom crown and a healthy dose of fake blood. Dag.

All in all, two great pumpkins. I think Supermaura's wins on technical merit, although Ladyfriend Sarah's takes the "Innovation in laughing at the mentally handicapped" award (which she's won three years straight). Regardless, a fine showing.

If you get any extra candy tonight, please send it to the band. We're hungry.