People,

So yesterday I was all alone at work. Literally all alone. Also, I polished off all the actual work I needed to get done by 11:00. So what to do?

Well, I started what remained of my day of liesure by reading all my usual web sites. I hit Rolling Stone, Metal Sludge, The Onion, Salon and Jam Showbiz Canada. When I finished up with those I realized I had killed a good fifteen minutes and had almost six hours left to go. Oh well, no worries I said to myself, the internet is a rich and wonderland playland full of plenty to keep me occupied for the rest of the day. That, people, was incorrect. The internet, it turns out, is actually kinda boring.

I surfed for an hour or so; I looked at plenty of band websites, tried in vain to find interesting online journals to read, and did the Universal Syndicate Crossword. But then I got B-O-R-E-D.

When I reached boredom I headed over to google and looked for pictures of people I went to high school with and/or girls I used to be interested in. I did this mainly to see if they got fat. Unfortunately, I didn't find anyone I was looking for, became convinced they are all living wonderful lives and got even more bored.

I finally found a website detailing some Malaysian kid's drug abuse. That was pretty interesting for a little while but then it too became ass-boring.

Of course, here's what this is all leading up to. The internet is really, plainly and simply a vehicle for delivering pornography. It's very much like a Playboy magazine; sure, the articles are good and interesting, but eventually you have to go look at the boobs, right? And that's where I found myself at about 2:00, with three hours left. It was like there was a little voice in my head saying "there's nothing left to read here, Jo Jo, but you are connected to the largest collection of free pornography on the planet. Jo Jo... Jo Jo.... Boobs....." (Ed. Note - the voice in your head calls you Jo Jo?)

Luckily I have learned that when I listen to that voice I usually end up in trouble, and so I shut the computer off and reorganized my desk. Then I took a nap.

Oh well....