People,

Last night I stayed at home with my ladyfriend and fired up the old DVD player. Since we consider ourselves very elegant and culturally sophisticated folks, we rented the cinema verité masterpiece The Real Cancun. And people, what a treat it was.

This movie is essentially the Real World with boobs and curse words. Now I'm not too good to say that I don't love my MTV reality TV, but unlike most Real Worlds (or dare I say it, most Road Rules!), this movie features nary an interesting character in the bunch. Even more important than that is the fact that none of these people are that hot. I mean, it's a frigging movie, for Christ's sake! Let's use that budget to get the hottest, most depraved people we can. Right? Wrong. Nobody in the "film" is nearly as good looking as anyone on Real World Las Vegas besides Frank. And no one is really all that depraved, either. In the end you just get a bunch of annoying 20 year olds parading around dead drunk philosophizing about the meaning of life and grossly making out with each other (maybe times have changed since I was a young'un, but the people on these shows literally aren't satisfied until they eat half of each other's faces off.)

Anywho, I would have been happier if they had sent this same group of people off to make "The Real Maximum Security Penitentiary," or "The Real Nike Shoe Factory," or even "The Real Guantanamo Bay US Army Torture Center." Oh well.

Our movie premiere is tonight.