VH1 Classic, people. Right?

This has to be the finest station that God, or his equivalent basic cable programmer, has ever put on the air. Yesterday I watched it for about five hours, during which there was...

1) An hour of 70's live performances, featuring the inimitable REO Speedwagon, Yes, The Doobie Brothers etc. Super Kick Ass.

2) An hour of 80's pop, featuring the actually pretty imitable Escape Club, Howard Jones, Cyndi Lauper and some band called Talk Talk, who quite frankly Suck Suck. Wicked Kick Ass.

3) An hour of 60's archival footage featuring The Turtles, The Strawberry Alarm Clock, Del Shannon, The Righteous Brothers and The Beach Boys. Very Kick Ass.

4) Two full hours of Heavy Metal Memories. I was in heaven as they played Ratt, Warrant, poison, Slaughter, Faster Pussycat, Autograph!!!!!, Def Leppard and even a band called the Wyld Boyz, who I think eventually changed their name to "The Unlikely to Win A Spelling Bee Homoerotic Spandex Clad Codpiece Heroes". Um...You know how Kick Ass that was.

And what did I learn in these five wasted hours? I think I can boil it down to the three things - Due to my insatiable appetite for this crap I will most likely die in front of the television, nobody is or has been better than the Beatles and British people, especially British people form the 60's have some nasty ass teeth.

I'm out....