April 25th - Champaign - Mike and Molly’s

The day started on a somewhat trying note for me. I had had enough to drink in Chicago that I forgot about my BROKEN FOOT!!!! and still jumped around like an idiot at the show. This was mistake number one. Mistake number two was walking my ass all over the city in search of food and thrift store bargains. I was not a happy man, or as my girlfriend says, man-child. I did, however, find an issue of Guitar magazine that was all about the making of Appetite for Destruction so all was not lost.

Anyway, we headed out for Champaign with the promoter promising a large turnout of comely college ladies for Jordan and Pete, and discount beer for me and Gordon. This was not to be. It turns out that Vanilla Ice was playing that night (yes, that Vanilla Ice) and he stole all of Mike and Molly’s regulars. The result of this was that the beer was not all that discounted, there was no one at the show, and the most comely of all the ladies was this three toothed woman named "Pattie" who slurred into my ear that she wanted to take me home and buy me cigarettes. I told her no thanks but that she should go talk to Jordan. She said "Sorry, honey, I don’t like the skinny ones." Jordan 1, Joe 0.

Unsurprisingly, the show bit some serious ass, mostly on account of me. I was all distracted and anxious and just couldn’t loosen up. The rest of the fellers persevered and we slogged through the set, but I was pretty upset. Luckily, after we retired to our borrowed digs, Jordan made some fantastic pasta to keep me in shape for the ladies or any surpise marathons we might encounter. We ate like Italian kings and then hit the sack.

This was not my favorite day of tour.

Tomorrow - Toledo!!!