Yo,

I'm sitting here writing this after just having returned from Florida. Oh sweet Florida, if you weren't full of bitchy rich old people I would gladly live within your sweet smelling borders.

Anyway, Florida is nice...weather wise. Sunday I ate my breakfast outside and then swam in the ocean. The water was warm and crystal clear. The sand on the beach was powdery and soothing on my poor northern feet. The women were scantily clad and buxom. It was A-OK. So A-OK that it makes you wonder about the settling of America. I understand that the Pilgrims got blown off course and ended up in New England, but once others found the southern part of the country why didn't everyone just go there?

Floridian: Hey guys, you know.... it's really warm down here and there's lots of fruit and fish and it pretty much rules.

Pilgrim: No thanks:

F: Why?

P: Here we have bitterly cold winters, Indian attacks and disease. Our crops rarely produce enough food to keep our infants alive and many of us have lost limbs to frostbite. Plus, we think sex is wrong.

F: I never mentioned sex.

P: Just letting you know.

F. Fair enough. Have it your way. I'm going to go do a couple lines of blow and judge a wet t-shirt contest.

To each his own.

More Florida tomorrow.