People,

So, the Oscars have come and gone, and all that's really different is that one more boring awards show is in the bag. I admit that I was fooled and thought that Chris Rock might just be zany enough to make it an entertaining show this year, but of course I was wrong. Dull, dull, dull.

My suggestion for livening up the awards is to include the category "best film made by stir crazy idiots stuck inside during a snowstorm and hopped up on diet coke". I would have had a legitimate shot at that award this year with my tour de force performance in "Man-child in pajamas lights his fart on fire".

Let's start a petition.