People,

Ladybetrothed Sarah and I have both dropped a lot of bad habits in the last couple years. We've gotten away from drinking, smoking, binge eating, being completely sedentary, etc. Basically, we're trying to become adults and live better lives. So far so good.

However, one thing we can't seem to let go of is our habit of knocking things over in the middle of the night. It seems like once a week one of us gets up to pee or reaches for the alarm clock and ends up sending a pile of loud breakable objects straight to the hardwood floor. Then we fully wake up, terrified, and end up not being able to go back to sleep.

Last night was one of those nights. At about 5:30 I woke up, heart pounding, to the sound of what I thought was an 1800 pound glass dumbell smashing on the floor. In reality, I had moved in my sleep and accidentally punched a framed photo right off my night table.

Subsequently, I spent about an hour and a half lying in bed with no hope of getting back to sleep and now feel slightly worse than death warmed over.