People,
Although I'm sure you can hardly believe it, we here in the
Fooled By April camp are a touch less than wealthy. As of yet the rock has not been, how do you say, lucrative. And so we all have to spend our days at pretty frigging annoying day jobs.
Now, the problem of having to actually work for a living is compounded by the fact that since we take a
lot of time off to go rock in places like
Columbus, Ohio, we necessarily have to work at jobs where taking lots of time off is acceptable. Unfortunately, those jobs usually entail working for people that are such huge pains in the ass and are so difficult to deal with that they'll give you a lot of slack as long as you agree to not quit. The jobs we work are positions notoriously difficult to fill because most people just can't take the abuse. And so, in exchange for sacrificing our dignity and self-respect, we get to go on tour. And usually it's worth it. At the very least it gives you funny things to bitch about.
Today my boss came into my office ostensibly to be nice...
Boss: Well, today is national secretary's day. Let's go out to lunch.
Me: Uh, ok. (Translation -
Why on earth would we go to lunch when our main verbal communication usually involves cursing me out for stapling a report too high in the corner of the page or for having the gall to correct your horrible grammar?)
Boss: We'll go to Legal Seafood. Make the reservation.
Me: Uh, I don't really eat seafood. I'm allergic to quite a bit of it and it always makes me ill.
Boss: Ok, so we'll head over there around noon.
Me: Hmmm, well, I don't know if there will be anything without fish in it that I can eat.
Boss: You'll love it there. They put fish in everything.
Me: Fine. (Translation -
You win, I'll sit there and drink a coke that I pray won't have fish in it.)
Boss: Noon it is. By the way, this letter is terrible. (Translation -
You're a jerk.)
Me: Sorry, I'll re-write it. (Translation -
Not as big a jerk as you are.)
Ah well, I'm off for a bowl of clam chowder and some antacid. Rock...
